FRIENDS LIKE THESE
Author's Notes: This is for the "Revenge of the DCAU Ficathon." Based on Shayera Stewart's request of "Flash meets Katma in a bar, they discuss John being a buckethead." Takes place after the events in "The Return." Thanks to Merlin Missy for the beta.
My life is so cool!
Sure, I just got the snot knocked out of me by a super-powered robot but hey even that's pretty cool because how many people get that opportunity?
Now here I am sitting at a bar relaxing with a bunch of friends who just happen to be Green Lanterns -- some of the most powerful people in the universe -- very, very cool except for Katma who is just so hot! Woo-hoo! I know what GL saw in her -- that bod, that spunk, she even remembered my name from last time and didn't roll her eyes when I zipped in to sit next to her.
I need another beer because this is too much fun trying to out-drink Kilowog -- what with his ring-resistance and my super-metabolism I doubt either of us will lose even if he does keep eating the bottles right along with the beer.
Kyle Rayner seems nice and I think we'll hit it off but right now he's talking to GL about the Guardians' decision. What decision? Kyle is going to be Earth's Lantern? Huh? GL's gotta be kidding, he can't leave.
"You can't leave, GL!" I can't lose my best friend -- and he is my best friend even though we don't get to hang out as much anymore because he said he needed space, but I'm cool with that and anyway we've totally bonded and that makes us best buds no matter what.
He looks at me and scowls which is more than he's done for a while now because he's been a real sourpuss since Hawkgirl left us -- I mean, sure, I miss her too because everybody does -- well, not everybody because Bats and Diana voted her out -- but GL was kinda in love with her or something so he's pretty messed up but I didn't think he was all "I'm leaving the League" messed up.
"I'm going home," GL tells us -- no it's more of the snap-growl thing he does when he's really pissed -- and he tosses a few bills on the table and leaves.
"What's the deal?" I ask Kyle. "GL wants transferred?"
Kyle nods. "The Guardians turned him down. They said his personal problems weren't the Corps' concern."
"What personal problems?" Kilowog asks.
"Dunno," Kyle answers.
"The Thanagarian," Katma says and she takes a big gulp of her beer as though the words left a bad taste in her mouth.
"The Thanagarians invaded Earth," Kyle says, "but I thought the League turned them away."
"We did," I tell them.
"Not the Thanagarians," Katma says, "The Thanagarian."
"Hawkgirl," I mutter.
"Oh, geeze," Kilowog says, "did something happen to her? I didn't see her today."
"She..." Man I don't even know how to say it. "She was a spy. She kinda gave her people all our secrets."
Kilowog's huge jaw drops open. "No."
"But you saved Earth anyway," Kyle says.
"Hawkgirl found out that the Thanagarians lied to her. They were going to destroy Earth. She turned against them and helped us."
"And then she was kicked out of the League," Katma adds.
"No," I say, "she left because she wanted to."
"So where is she now?" Kilowog asks.
Kyle tilts his head, clearly thinking about something. "Then if everything worked out for the League and the traitor is no longer part of the group, why did John want a transfer?"
"Him and Hawkgirl, they were..." I ponder for a millisecond. "Well, I dunno what they were exactly, but I think they were in love. Or at least he was in love with her. He's pretty broken up over the whole thing."
Katma slams down her beer bottle. "He's a fool."
My head snaps around because that's my best bud she's knocking there. "What?"
"The Guardians are right. He's got a duty to perform. He needs to get over her before it impacts his work."
"Hey," I warn. "Give GL a break. He had his heart ripped out. We all did."
Katma looks at me. "Will his enemies give him a break because he's gloomy? No. They'll take advantage of any weakness he has." She turns to Kyle. "That's a lesson you can learn, too, Rayner."
And I thought Bats was cold and shut off from emotions. "GL does his job just fine!"
"He needs to get laid," Kyle chuckles.
"Does laying down improve a human's emotional state?" Kilowog asks.
"Not 'laid' as in lay down," Kyle sputters, "'Laid' as in...never mind."
"Whatever it takes to put Hawkgirl in his past, where she belongs," Katma says. She looks up to the door. "You know what, boys? I think John could use some company."
Katma pushes past me and I don't mind at all when her backside brushes against my arm -- but she leaves without bothering to pay for her beer, and dammit I'm short on cash this week and with GL already gone I'm going to have to foot everybody's bill because Kyle hasn't been on Earth in years and probably doesn't have any money and I know Kilowog doesn't have cash.
"Katma will take care of John," Kilowog assures us.
Kyle and I look at each other then bust out laughing.
"I have no doubt about that," I say.